12 Years A Friend: Escape from the Friend Zone

Have you ever had a lady you love grab both of your arms, look you in the soul and whisper into your heart "I LOVE YOU


...but like a brother" 


You try and put on a brave face and even force a laugh telling her you feel the same way and you hug her gingerly so she doesn't feel the pieces of broken glass you used to call your heart resting in your stomach beside the dead carcasses of the butterflies that started to flutter about in your stomach 5 minutes ago when she said she needed to talk to you.


allergies got your eyes overreacting...


You walk away from her and promise to call her but you switch your phone off as soon as you get in cus ur whole body feels like its shutting down on you, think it might be ebola* but you resolve to try and sleep it off.  If that fails next plan of attack is to get some curry and try and sweat it out. 

You're tryna cry but you cant remember what you did with your eyes.

Over the next few days you go through different stages of sadness:

Why doesn't she love me?

You're just sitting there crying, listening to Take Care..wondering why every Drake song seems to relate to your particular situation: "Is this man a prophet??".. 

you see a text come in from her and for a second you dare to hope:

"Hi buddy, just making sure you're okay, are we still on for girl's night out on Saturday?"

                                                          

                                                             

                                                        

                                                             

                                                         

You done cried so much your dehydration levels are damn near critical, you've been living in that couch for days, that tv remote been ur only friend, never judged you, never called you names. 

U're just sitting in the dark and farting, we've all been there, got the whole room smelling like sadness, ain eaten in days so thats all you got inside. Some of you are having flashbacks right now.

Then you get to this last stage which is what is called "The Calm" this stage is when you have cried all your finest tears, you're down to the reserves now and you realise if you don't get up and eat or drink something, you're going to die of terminal dehydration.

You get up and walk over to the mirror, the first time you can bear to look at yourself in days, eyes all bloodshot looking like you just smoked up all Big Worm's stash with Smokey and Craig. 

You take a look around the room, tissue boxes everywhere, empty juice boxes littered all over the room from where you were taking straight shots of capri-sun to the head, to try and numb the pain.

You then walk out of the valley of the shadow of death, also know as your room where you have lived for the past 3 days with nothing but your tears and the Weeknd Trilogy album to keep you going and enter into the next stage of your life, which we shall dramatically call: The Awakening.

                                                   

The awakening its almost like you're in the matrix, your life flashes before your eyes and you realize all the things you have been doing wrong. All those times when you showed too much, stayed too long,  agreed to let her paint your fingernails just to feel her touch. Love will bring out the creep in you.

                          

Listen I know heartbreak is serious business, artists like Drake and Mario Winans have built empires off it, not to mention other profilic merchants of sadness like Adele and Sade now we're talking big numbers here, point is; Heartbreak is real, elephants die from it. 

So ladies and gentlemen, and any elephants in the room, maybe u saw what i did there, maybe you didnt, never mind. The point is, if you really love someone and you think you can love them better than everyone else in their lives, you are desperate to let em see that..and i love desperate people, they take risks. 

This article will help you break out of the zone of friendship and help you go from 


Urkle

To the guy Urkle really was when he wasnt pretending to be Urkle

If you stay with me all i'm trying to say is:

All you need is a little self awareness and confidence

Stay tuned for the next instalment in this series: "The Awakening"

Peace, Love and Happy new year you beautiful b*stard!















*Ebola is a serious issue and isnt localised to west africa and referencing it in this context is not trying to trivialise it, so i apologise if i offend anyone who is affected by it